Things I learned through the planning process ...

My three year wedding anniversary is coming up next month and I thought now would be a good time to share some of the things I learned (and realized), throughout the planning process and at the wedding itself, with all of you brides (and grooms) to be.

-Things will go wrong. It is inevitable. There are too many people involved and too many outside factors that come into play for things not to go wrong. But the reality is, you are most likely the only person that will know. My bouquet was supposed to be all white mini callas, tied with white satin ribbon with the stems showing. Instead I got a bouquet of 5 large white callas, fully wrapped with a bow. Everyone told me how beautiful my flowers were. My cake was supposed to have large “dots” of frosting around the base of each tier; instead there were two rows of "dots," with space in between, at the base of the bottom tier. Everyone told me how beautiful and tasty the cake was. In the grand scheme of things, did it really matter that the cake and bouquet were "wrong"? No.

-Take a minute to enjoy your day. Stop, look around and just take it all in. It FLIES by. If you can’t get to that last table to say "hi", or don’t feel like dealing with anymore formalities, then skip them. Do what YOU want to do. It’s your day and you don’t want to look back on it with regrets. Listen to what everyone has to say and decide what works for you and your fiancé. Whether it is seeing each other before the ceremony, incorporating religious customs and traditions, doing a bouquet and garter toss, donating or giving a favor, or whatever else, do what is most important to you. Don’t do something because someone else tells you, you “should” or you “have to.” You don’t.

-Your bridal party – it is your wedding, but you are choosing to include them in this big day. Consider them when making some of your decisions. It can be hard to find bridesmaid dresses you like, but if the one you love is $300, consider looking for something similar with a smaller price tag. Being in a wedding can be very expensive – try to take your girls or guys into consideration when making some of your decisions. All of my girls wore the same dress. They picked their own shoes and did whatever they wanted for hair and makeup. Everyone looked beautiful, but most importantly, they were happy! And even if they don’t all take an active interest in every detail of the wedding or do as much as you “think” they should., they love you and they are there for you on your special day.

-Decide what is most important to you and spend your money on those things. Photography was very important to me, but I let other people’s views influence my decision and ended up disappointed. I should have allotted more money for photography in the budget. Most people will remember the music and if they enjoyed themselves dancing. My DJ was great – I’m still hearing about him three years later. He wasn't the most expensive and he wasn't the cheapest, but he kept the dance floor packed. I was having such a good time dancing that I skipped eating to dance; which wasn’t the best idea because I was hungry and I still hear about how good the food was.

-Vendor recommendations are great. Listen to what people have to say, do your research, but in the end, make the decision you feel is best for you.

-Details, details, details. The little things you do will get noticed. They are what will set your wedding apart from the dozens of others your guests have, and will attend. People will remember them and they are a great way to show off who you, as a couple, really are.

-Throughout the planning process, remember what’s really important. Yes you want everything to be perfect, but you’re marrying the love of your life. That’s what’s really important. Not the color of the tablecloths, the shoes the bridesmaids wear, the exact number of flowers that will be in each bouquet, the writing on the escort cards, or anything else for that matter. You are marrying the person you love and at the end of the day, you will be husband and wife. That’s what the whole day is really about. All the planning, the stressing, as long as you are happy at the end of the day and come out a Mrs. or a Mr., it is ALL worth it.


-Becky